What Were You Thinking...

San Diego Padres?

You have no chance of competing this season, none. With that in mind, what did you do? You signed Cliff Floyd and released Matt Bush. This could be one of the most egregious player personnel decisions in all of sports since Isiah Thomas was fired as GM of the Knicks.

Let's break this down.

The 36-year old Floyd makes his offseason home in Florida and his in season home on the DL. In the last five years, he has spent time on the shelf with injuries to his knees, ankles, thighs and feet. He has no real position making him a terrible fit in the the National League. He had a decent season last year with the Rays hitting .268/.349/.455, but the Pads need a lot more than Cliff Floyd to compete in the short term. At 36, he has no chance of being a long-term solution.

Bush was the first overall selection in the 2004 Rule IV Draft. Sure, you drafted him as a shortstop only to convert him back into a pitcher, and he has struggled on the mound and off (he had Tommy John surgery two years ago), but why give up now? Isn't he worth the flier?

I cannot fathom the thought process of the Pads' front office. How desperate was the need for a left-handed hitter that you decided to give up on Bush? There is zero upside in this move.

Note: This has nothing to do with Floyd as a person because he has been a popular clubhouse presence everywhere he's gone.

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Jon Heyman?

I have always been weary of your work since your days at Newsday but couldn't explain why until now. Turns out you could be in Scott Boras' back pocket (hopefully, Boras at least has you on his payroll). I hope you sleep well at night knowing that you are a direct cause of inflated ticket prices.

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Government of South Carolina?

According to a 2006 FBI report, more violent crimes occur in your state (per capita) than any other state in the country.

According to 2005 Census data, your state ranks 41st in literacy rates in our country.

Spend your money elsewhere. Drop the idea of pressing charges against Michael Phelps, and focus on some important things.

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Bud Selig?

Most of us can agree you've done a great job running the League during your tenure as Commish. However, the country still finds itself in a depression. Employees of almost every Major League team have lost their jobs. You are a millionaire dozens of times over. Do the right thing and say "no" to your $3m raise.

At least one other person agrees.

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Walt "Clyde" Frazier?

My fiance and I were watching the Cavs-Knicks a few nights back and happened to hear you say, "It's Boobie-time" after Daniel Gibson hit a three. You kill us night in and night out. Keep doing what you do.

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Gregg Popovich?

First off, you look like a cross between Santa Claus and Harrison Ford in The Fugitive. Please rectify this situation by shaving your beard.


Which one of these guys coaches the Spurs?

Second off, why would you ever bench your three best players in a single game? You sat Tony Parker, Tim Duncan, and Manu Ginobili the night before you started a four-day break. If karma can hear me, your squad will finish in fifth place in the West, one game behind the Nuggets team you let beat your shorthanded bunch.